Misadventure Number Two, by Emily the Eager
She opened her eyes slowly. Everything was hazy and groggy, and the world was spinning and dipping dizzily around her. She tried to wipe her eyes, but her arms were firmly locked around her middle, and she seemed to be lying on her side. In fact, she was lying on something very hard and cold. With much difficulty and a lot of dizziness, she managed to sit up. After a full ten minutes, she finally remembered.
"Lindsey. Becki. Katelyn." Her whisper grew louder with each word. "I'm in the Crazy Cape Island mental facility. They left me. They wouldn't leave me!" By now she was almost yelling. Stumbling in a drug-induced haze, she tripped to the window. The bars were no longer there, and strange peach-colored goop was stuck to the sides and the stubs of bars left along the edges.
"Wait! Y'all forgot me!" Her voice was screeching in panic. Was that smoke she smelled? She wobbled over to the door and almost collided with it. She managed to peek through the window.
The hall was unusually empty, especially considering she'd just shrieked her head off. Normally that would incite a needle-armed doctor to burst in and drug every patient in the room. The only thing she could see right now, however, was an abandoned cart covered in needles and jars. The air still smelled strangely of smoke. Lindsey hadn't employed her hourglass-decoy-bomb, had she? That rickety smoke gag was nowhere near safe. Then again, neither was its inventor.
Just then she remembered the cell phone Becki had used to call Lindsey to their rescue. Her mind seemed to be clearing up, and she was rapidly gaining control over her body. With some struggle, she used the secret maneuver Katelyn had taught her to slip out of her straitjacket. Immediately she fled to the bed and slipped her hand under the pillow.
"Bingo!" With relief flooding her chest, she yanked the phone out and dialed the only number she knew by heart, the only nurse she knew personally.
"Hello?"
"Mrs. Cordial? Hi. There's been a mistake, and I'm stuck in an abandoned mental hospital." She sincerely hoped that was the truth. A single doctor left in this facility meant it was only a matter of time before needles started flying again. "Anyway, I know you're a nurse and used to work here and all and I was wondering if you had a key I could use to get out?" Her words pushed each other out, in a hurry to reach the phone.
"Sorry, sweetie, can't do that without the doctor's orders. But I hope you feel better soon!"
"But-" The phone clicked off, and Emily knew it was no use. She'd hung up on her.
She was about to flop on the bed and despair, but an unearthly noise drew her to the window. It sounded like a cross between an airplane crashing and Big Bird learning to fly. When she reached the window, she had to pinch herself just to check she wasn't seeing drug-induced hallucinations.
Nope, that pterodactyl was definitely there, sitting outside her window. And her friends were all dismounting its back.
"Holy canoli! Please tell me that's not part of your Grand Escape Plan, Lindsey!"
Lindsey, Becki, and Katelyn stood outside the window. Lindsey put her hands on her hips. "We could just leave you here again, you know."
"No, no, it's a great plan! You're a genius, truly, Lindsey! Now will you get me out of here before-" Apparently there was still at least one needle-happy nurse still in the building, because he slammed open the door and headed straight for the foursome gathered at the window.
Katelyn shrieked. Emily screamed. Becki sighed in frustration. The ever-prepared, scheming Lindsey, on the other hand, shoved a goat into Emily's hands. She caught on quickly.
"Lindsey, Becki, Katelyn, you do your things! I'll take care of Mr. Needles-The-Size-Of-Texas! HURRY PEOPLE!" Before she knew it, she was fighting off not one but FIVE doctors and nurses - all with their own arsenal of needles. The poor goat was already in a stupor and quickly heading towards unconsciousness - possibly permanent.
Becki pulled out a trumpet and Katelyn screamed at Lindsey. "Help us here, Lindsey! You're The Leader, remember!?"
She screamed back. "My plan won't work anymore! We need a new one! We'll need laundry detergent, a lasso, a stop sign, five refrigerators, a hairclip, and bananas. LET'S MOVE IT PEOPLE!" She snapped at Becki, who dropped the trumpet to the floor.
Katelyn shrugged off her Mary Poppins Exclusive backpack and pulled out laundry detergent, one fridge, a freezer, and a banana. After a moment of more digging and almost falling in once, she pulled out a stop sign. Becki climbed out the window.
"Becki, don't leave me! I mean us!" Emily was beyond panicky now. She was flipping out. The goat was getting seriously heavy, and the doctors never ran out of needles. How many jars could one scrubs jacket hold?
Becki rematerialized in the room. "Chillax. I just needed to use my emergency teleporting skills. Lindsey, I've got a fridge and two freezers here, way more bananas than should be legal to own at one time, and an authentic lasso. Will these work?"
Lindsey sighed. "I suppose freezers will do. Now, everybody eat a banana. The potassium will prevent muscle cramps."
All three of her companions made gruesome faces, but Becki and Katelyn ate theirs. Then Becki and Emily traded goat for banana and she managed to swallow hers down. Lindsey shoved hers down and then grabbed the stop sign. "EVERYBODY AWAY FROM THE DOOR!"
Becki, Emily, and Katelyn (plus one unconscious and seriously drugged goat) immediately fled to the opposite side of the room. Before they knew what hit them, all five doctors had succumbed to a stop sign whacked on their heads.
"Lindsey!" Katelyn gasped. "You've never been so violent!"
She shrugged and tossed the stop sign on the bed before sliding the laundry detergent into a fridge. "They'll be fine. Besides, that particular brand of laundry detergent you brought has magical healing powers when refrigerated. Anyway, y'all come help me lock them in the freezers and refrigerators. WHERE IS MY HAIRCLIP?!"
Becki and Katelyn looked at each other, shrugged, and followed orders. Emily hurried to pull her jumbo hairclip out of the long, tangled mass that was her hair. Lindsey proceeded to sabotage the seals on each fridge and freezer. Soon the middle of the room was occupied with a circle of five freezers and refrigerators, tied together and securely shut with a lasso. Lindsey pulled an alarm clock from her coat pocket. "This will wake them up and alert the rest of the building in exactly two hours. C'mon, let's get to Peter before we run out of time!"
"Peter?" Emily looked at the others, bewildered. "Who's Peter?"
Becki snorted. "World's worst reptile."
Lindsey gave her the Evil Eye. "ALSO your only method of escape."
Becki simpered. "He's... got his nice moments. A smooth fly-er, I guess."
The Foursome boarded the pterodactyl and Lindsey got him going. Emily held on for dear life at first, but soon she relaxed like the others. "Finally, we're going home." She smiled.
Lindsey glanced back at her. "Not quite. I've just heard from an Australian spy-friend of mine from my stint with CIA that there's a secret kangaroo-smuggling ring nearby. He requires our assistance immediately. We'll have to trade Peter in for some less conspicuous jetpacks along the way, of course, but I'm afraid there's no time to stop at home. Especially if we want to have time for the gift shop."
Katelyn sighed. "To Australia, then, cap'n?"
Lindsey grinned back at the gang. "To Sydney, mate!"
TO BE CONTINUED...
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