Tuesday, February 21, 2012

The day we almost did something illegal, by Becki Badger

Earlier that day:
"Grillz, I love Reth.  He's the love of my life."
"Lindsey,"  Becki said.  "Reth is a murderer, and he's also in jail."
"Yeah, but he shouldn't be there!  I'm gonna break him out!"
Emily, Katelyn, and Becki: ". . . . ."


Later that day:
"I can't believe we're doing this."  Becki looked at Katelyn, whose eyes were as large as those annoying windmills.  They were sitting on top of a hill that looked over a maximum security facility.  She didn't get a chance to say anything, however, before Lindsey showed up with Emily.
"Alright, grillz, we have everything I asked you to get?"
Katelyn groaned.  "I have the nine oranges and the fake potted bamboo plant.  I still can't believe you got us into this."
"Mm-hmm,"  was the only response she got.  "Beekee?"
Becki sighed.  She was a little skeptical, as well.  "A box of tissues, a plastic bag, and you'd better thank your lucky stars that I managed to scrounge up three double-A batteries."

"Aw, you know I appreciate you, Beekee."  She beamed at me.  "Emmalee?"
Emily held out her hand, palm open.  "Life Savers, as ordered."
"Thank you!  And I have the fist-sized chunk of raw rubber.  Ooh,"  she grimaced.  "none of you happened to bring hip waders."
The other three looked at each other.  "Uh . . . no,"  Becki said, slowly.
"Should we have?"  Katelyn said, nervously.
Lindsey sighed.  "Well, it can't be helped.  Come on, let's go."
"What about the hip waders!"  Katelyn wailed after her as she started down the other side of the hill, away from the prison.
"Oh, never mind about them!"  Lindsey hollered back.  "You'll survive without them!"
"I have a bad feeling about this,"  Emily said.  They hurried to catch up to Lindsey.  "Hey, how'd you find out Reth's here, anyway?"
Lindsey winked at her.  "I have my sources."
"What are we going to do with all this stuff?"  Becki said, glancing back at Katelyn, who was hauling around the potted plant.
"Are we really going to ask questions all day?  Because I don't have time for this.  My true love is waiting!"
She surged ahead, and Emily and Becki looked at each other while they waited for Katelyn to catch up.
"We have to stop her,"  Becki said.
"Agreed."
"Wait, what did I agree to?"  Katelyn said, breathlessly.
"We're going stop Lindsey before she commits an actual crime,"  Emily filled her in.
"Well, it's about time someone knocked some common sense into her!"

"Okay, in you go."  Lindsey opened the hatch and a stomach-turning stench wafted out.  They all gagged, and Lindsey quickly shut the hatch again.  "Oh, that's right, I forgot.  Who has the oranges?"  Katelyn handed the bag to her, covering her mouth with her hand, after dropping the potted bamboo.  "Someone help me open them."
"Why are we peeling oranges?"  Becki asked, on her second orange.
"Don't forget to eat them as you go.  We don't need the actual fruit.  And try to keep the peels in as large pieces as possible."
"We're keeping the peels?"  Emily said, stooping to pick up the peel she'd dropped on the ground.
"Well, you don't want to go down there unarmed, do you?"
Somehow, that was not as reassuring as she meant it to be.
"Okay, now hold a peel to your nose, and let's go."  Lindsey was about to duck in when another character entered the story.  So to speak.
"Becki, what are you doing here?"  Becki's eyes widened, and Lindsey let the hatch drop back in place.
"How are you-  But I-"  she stammered.
"Ryan!"  Becki froze, not believing she was actually seeing him.  He was Reth's brother, and one of Becki's best friends.  She also hadn't seen him for at least a year.  Not since-  Oh, never mind.  It's complicated.
"Why did you break into my house?"
Becki ground her teeth and turned to Lindsey.  "Linzee, why did you break into Ryan's house?"
Lindsey winced.  "I told you I had my sources.  Don't yell at me!"
Becki sighed.  "Sorry, Ryan.  It won't happen again."
'Well, it better not,"  he said, seriously.  "K freaked out when she thought someone had been digging through her stuff."
"How did you know to find us here?"  Emily spoke up.
"The only thing she took was a printout of an encrypted email from Brett.  It wasn't hard to tell where she was going after that."
"I don't suppose you can talk Linzee the Leader into stopping this crazy mission?"
"You're breaking Reth out, aren't you?"
There was silence.  They were far too easy to read.
"That obvious?"  Katelyn said.
"Well, you are heading into the sewer system of a maximum security facility in the middle of nowhere, and I happen to know that there's only one prisoner in there."  Again . . . silence.  Ryan groaned.  "Why?  Why would you ever want to break him out?"
"Because he's my true love!"  Lindsey shrieked, then ducked her head.  "Sorry . . . I get excited."
"The fact that you should get psychiatric help aside, I wouldn't do that."
"Why not, besides the obvious?"  Katelyn wondered.
Ryan surveyed the items we were carrying.  "For one thing, you guys are lugging around a potted bamboo plant."
"You didn't expect me to bring him flowers, did you?"
He cocked an eyebrow at her.  "Um . . . okay, then.  You're also bringing a box of Kleenex."
"I'm prone to tears,"  she said, matter-of-factly.
"The plastic bag?"
"What if there's no trash can to throw the Kleenex away?"
"Batteries?"
"I brought my portable CD player for romantic music."
"And . . . Life Savers?"
"Mint.  In case there's any snogging later."
There was a long pause.  No one was quite sure what to say about this.  Finally, Ryan shook himself.  "I'm almost afraid to ask about the rubber."
Lindsey laughed.  "Oh, that's a stress-reliever for anyone who starts freaking out.  (CoughKatelynCough.)"
"Lindsey, you're going to be the first one he kills.  You know that, right?"
Lindsey seemed to be considering this.  Then she shrugged.  "It's worth true love."
Ryan shrugged.  "Well, you can give it a try, but I warned them that there was going to be a break-in today, so they'll be waiting to arrest you."
Lindsey's eyes became enormous.  "You did what!!!!"
He nodded.  "Yep, but don't worry.  I told them the person was probably delusional, so they'll take you to a mental hospital, instead of locking you up in a prison across the country from this one."
"Oh, no!"  Lindsey hollered.  "He's not worth that much!  It was nice meeting you, Ryan, but we girls have kangaroos to rescue!"
She dropped the rubber she'd been holding and dashed down the hill.  The others were left wondering what had just happened.
"Well, that was easier than I thought it would be,"  Becki said.
"At least we know these work."  We turned to Emily, who was holding something small, fuzzy, orange, and pink.
"Uh, what is that, Emmalee?"  Katelyn said.
"It's a wishing sock I picked up at the mental hospital on the way out.  I can't believe I forgot about it until now."

And that was the day we (or rather, Emily,) stopped Linzee from committing a crime that would have changed her life forever.

4 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  2. Omw, Becki. This is terriby funny. I'm glad you didn't kil Emmalee or our dear, crazy Linzee. Lol, now Linzee's turn!

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  3. Becki! What happened to our plan!? You know, Reth-tries-to-kill-be-but-I-become-a-goose-and-then-we-save-me-and-Reth-gets-eaten-for-Christmas-dinner?

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    1. Yeah, well, I thought telling a hilarious love story would be better. And don't you love how Ryan talks Linzee out of it. I EVEN THOUGHT UP USES FOR ALL THE THINGS LINZEE TOLD ME SHE'D NEED TO GET RETH OUT OF JAIL!! :D

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