Saturday, March 17, 2012

In Which We Learn Flying Pigs Are Very Scary

It's a perfect party.  Peter's thumping his tail, keeping time to the DJ.  Becki is dancing (yes, actually dancing) with Marc, a sea captain Katelyn has assured me is perfect for her.  (Katelyn also blackmailed Becki into promising to be nice to him.  Hence the dancing.)  Lindsey failed to break Reth out of jail for the event, and is currently taking her anger out on Katelyn with the cricket bat.  (Did I mention Katelyn invited some guy named Roman to be Lindsey's 'date?'  Yeah, bad idea.  He's off by the punch bowl looking scared and watching the cricket bat veeeeeryyy closely.)  Katelyn is frantically searching for Mr. Snuggles, who hid from the two of them after the last time Katelyn used him as leverage.  Even Ryan, the nice guy who once showed up right when Lindsey was about to commit a felony, is here to celebrate.  (Probably Katelyn's attempt for me.  She tends to forget I have a boyfriend.)  I'm the guest of honor.  So why can't I enjoy myself?

Because, this is a goodbye party.  A Fearsome Foursome goodbye party.  So I'm moping under the big blue tent Katelyn arranged.  There's one for guests to stand under and one over the punch table at the other side of the dance floor.

The group is already splitting up, because of me.  It's not like I can help it.  I miss out on half our adventures and conversations anyway.  I'm not particularly great at leading.  Or saving the day (except that time with the wishing sock, but that was mostly luck).   I don't have the time to drop everything and fly to Australia like the other girls did.  So I'm leaving.

A very sad reason to have a party.

Apparently Katelyn found Mr. Snuggles, because she's heading straight toward me.  "Hi Emmalee.  I know you're sad and all, but this is your party.  Why don't you enjoy yourself?"

I shrug.  "I've always been the sensible one, you know.  Almost too sensible to belong in this group anyway.  So I guess I can't forget why this party is happening in the first place."

Katelyn shakes her head sadly.  "Man, grill, you're too down for a party.  Why don't you at least dance?"  I start to protest, but she holds up her hands.  "I know, I know, you have a boyfriend.  But you can dance on your own, yes?  Or at least give one dance to Ryan.  It's not like he expects you to marry him."

I sigh.  "Why don't you bother Lindsey?"

"First of all, I just hid the cricket bat.  I really don't want her to go dig out a pot and try to kill me with that.  At least I know how to fend off the bat.  Second of all, Lindsey is dancing with Mr. Snuggles.  Even she knows how to enjoy a party."

Katelyn points out at the dance floor, where Becki has taken pity on Roman and Lindsey is spinning  with-

Katelyn voices my thoughts.  "Marc?  Lindsey's dancing with Marc?"  She looks at me, then runs out from under the tent.

"Any pigs?"

She shakes her head and slowly returns.  "Not yet.  But maybe if you go dance with Ryan, I really will win that bet!"

"Huh?"

"Oh, I didn't tell you?  Becki and I heard about this photo competition.  The craziest entry wins.  We made our own, with just us two."

"What's the prize?"

"The winner cannot be teased, chased, or blackmailed for a full month."

"Wow.  I can't believe you two agreed to those terms.  Who decides the winner?"

"Um, er, well... Lindsey.  So I'm hoping the judging is done with VeggieTales playing, because otherwise I'll never win."

I just nod.

"So, will you?"

"Will I what?"

"Dance with Ryan?  Just once, while Becki and Lindsey are still dancing?  So I can maybe get a photo of flying pigs?"

I huff.  "Whatever."

"Hey, be sure you're nice to him."

"Duh."

So I march right over to the DJ, where Ryan is just standing and watching everybody party.  Next thing I know, I'm dancing with some guy I hardly know - all for Katelyn's dumb bet.  She will seriously owe me.  Especially if Becki finds out I helped her win.  That's a scary thought, so I focus on watching the sky.

"See any yet?"

I shake my head at Ryan.  "Nope.  Lindsey and Becki are still-"  I stop.  I freeze.  My jaw drops open.  Ryan looks up at the sky.  I can't say a word.

Then I hear the shriek.

"NO!"  Becki is lunging toward Katelyn, scrambling to grab the camera out of her hands.  Lindsey is on her hands and knees, searching for Mr. Snuggles in the chaos.  Katelyn is snapping photos like a maniac.  And there, against the cloudless blue sky, countless creatures are flying.

This is not what I envisioned when I spoke of flying pigs.  I expected fat pink things with angel-looking wings.  These are definitely pink, and definitely fat, but NOT angelic.  Actually, I'm pretty sure they have horns, and their wings flapping sound like bees buzzing around.  Really big, really loud bees.  Their tails curl and uncurl faster and faster, and it seems...

...they're actually heading straight towards us!

"Lindsey!"  I cry out.  Only The Leader can get us out of this.

But Lindsey is sobbing in the middle of the dance floor, unable to find Mr. Snuggles or her cricket bat.  I'm starting to panic, and Becki and Katelyn are in the middle of a full-fledged cat fight.  They're oblivious to the scary creatures that are rapidly coming closer and growing louder.  I'm not sure whether to shriek or sob when, finally, Ryan takes control.

"Becki!  Katelyn!  Stop that!"  The brave soul actually steps right between them, and even more amazing, they listen.  "Lindsey is incoherent, and we need to get out of here now!  We've got a whole herd of flying pigs that will be here any minute!  Emily, do you know where we can get a puppy?"

I nod, then dash inside.  It only takes a minute to pull out my wishing sock from its hiding place in my room.  I flee outside and wish harder than I've ever wished before.  Finally, I open my eyes.  To my relief, a fluffy little golden retriever is licking Lindsey's tears.

I turn to Ryan.  "Perfect!  Now, ladies, grab Lindsey and the puppy and follow me.  We've got to get to Peter!"

"Did somebody call me?"  Peter has reached us with one dinosaur step, and we scramble onto his back.

"Thank you Peter!  Let's get me and Emily home, and by that time Lindsey should be well enough to tell you where to go next."  Within moments, we are whooshing past mountains and over meadows with the pigs hot on our tails.  After quite a bit of zigzagging, two teleports, and one time flying upside-down, we've lost them, dropped off Ryan, and are landing in the parking area in front of my house.

Katelyn, Becki, and Lindsey are looking at me with sad expressions.  Becki is the only one to speak.  "It's so sad here in the real world.  We can't stay very long in reality, you know.  You wouldn't want the worst to happen."

I nod solemnly.  Only I can survive this place where craziness is a mental disorder instead of a natural gift.  "We don't have time for goodbyes.  But Becki, promise me something?"

She nods.

"Take care of this for me.  Make sure it doesn't fall in the wrong hands.  If I ever return, I may need it someday."  I hand her my wishing sock, and Peter takes off.
"Goodbye!"  I call, waving frantically.  I hope they can hear me.

Just before Peter disappears over the temporary rainbow only we can see, I hear Katelyn cry out, "Yes!  I got the photo!"

7 comments:

  1. Emmalee, this made me cry. It was my favorite, and I don't want to say goodbye. :'(

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  2. :'( I know. But I'll visit! I promise! I just can't seem to live in the crazy bubble you do. My feet are covered with too much terra firma to be re-planted in the sky. They're too accustomed to the ground.

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  3. :'( Emmalee, you wrote this to make me cry, didn't you? I don't want to say goodbye! Someday we'll have to meet you in person, 'cuz I need to give you a big hug. </3

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    Replies
    1. Kataleen, I didn't want to make anybody cry! I suppose it's inevitable though :(

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    2. Yeah, I suppose it was. But it was the best story yet. Like how on earth can we make anyone happy with our stories when your last one was so...perfect! *sniff* We can try to guest star you, since none of us really want to cut you out all together.

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    3. :) Good, we'll try to fit you in soon.

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